January 13, 2012


I had a professor once who used to speak & write in alliterations & in a language that I am supposed to believe, was English. May be he is still the same. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I hardly ever understood a word of what he said except for nouns and prepositions. Because not only he used to speak in alliterations, his fucking vocabulary could easily put even some of the most sophisticated and brilliant writers to shame. The funniest of all was when; once he attended one of our batch parties where an insignificant being like me had a performance scheduled. It all went well until the next day he stopped me on the stairs and said something, which by his expressions seemed as if he was appreciating my performance the other day, but it could easily have been the reminder that I am yet to submit my weekly assignment. What do I know?

There is a reason I am telling you all this. I recently met a girl exactly like my professor. Don't get me wrong, I am referring him only and only with respect to his obsession I explained earlier. She's a friend of mine. If not for this habit, she could easily be the perfect girl friend material. That twinkle in the eye, killer smile, nose ring, hot as shit, and horny! But damn this alliteration ruined it all. The difference this time is, I am able to comprehend what she is saying, but I don’t want to. She speaks rubbish and it's irritating. The problem is that it has gone beyond just alliteration.  Her vocabulary is far too sophisticated and extensive for my liking. When I say my day was bad, all I want is sex, not some 1100 synonyms to explain the same feeling.

(To all my younger brothers and sisters reading this, please ignore the previous sentence. We don’t do stuff like this in our family ok. We are magic people, remember? Be good. And 1 more thing, DO NOT READ MY BLOGS. It’s all a lie, just to get some followers. You will understand this when you grow up. Now go and prepare for your Unit Test tomorrow. Bye)

Yeah back to reality!

So I decided that I’ll tell her about this annoying habit of hers the next day. But, the next day, she wore this white embroidered suit with a blue stole, a clip on the hair to hold them back from one side, the other side falling over her eye which she’d fling back with her fingers ever so lightly. Ahh god damn it, here I am, came to tell her how annoying she can be at times, but falling in love instead. I couldn’t do it; couldn’t even say a word. But a solution needs to be found. And then, right at that moment, the perfect solution hit me. Ear Buds.

To take her out for a nice evening dinner & drinks: Rs 5000
To not be able to listen to a word she says: Priceless

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