May 25, 2011

Letter to Shiv Ji (Part 2) : Tumhare bas ki kuchh nahi !!

This post is a sequel to "Letter to ShivJi: Ladki Dilao" which I wrote about an year back. Those you haven't read that one, click here.


To: shiv.golibaaz@dassliya.com
Cc: krishna@BackInTheGame.com ; vishnu@identityfu**ingcrisis.com ; brahma@pervertpops.com; naarad@haraamkhori.com
Bcc : dhritrashtra@buddha-hoga-tera-baap.com; karan@trust-issues.com; shakunimama@dkbose.com; 

Subject: Tumhare bas ki kuchh nahi hai (Ref: Ladki Dilao) !!

Yaar bhagwan, tum sunte to ho nahi 
Kitne mail likhu, reply karte to ho nahi 
Khud dhoondh lunga ab aur hota nahi wait
Tumhare chakkar me waise hi bahut ho gaya late

Ab tumse thodi si madat ki umeed karta hu 
Goli na dena is baar bas yahi fariyaad karta hu 
Thoda bahut samaan chahiye wo jaldi bhej do mujhe ab 
Merc ya Audi chalegi, scooter nahi chala sakta main ab 

Waise ek pasand aayi hai office me saath kaam karti hai 
Date pe chalne ke liye puchho to haye tauba raam karti hai 
Yaar suno aisi ladkiyo ko ab to thodi akal de daalo 
Main tab tak lukkho ki tarah ghoomu kuchh to karo saalo (sorry bhagwan kuchh aur fit nahi hua)

@Krishna 

Dekho bhai, tumhara bataya koi funda kaam nahi aaya hai 
Jisko ghumane le gaya tha, kamini ne bech ke khaaya hai 
Jeb me phooti kodi nahi aur bank account hai khaali
Laxmi ji se setting hai to bhejo gaddi hazaar waali

Achha ek aur baat karni thi mujhe tumse kaam ki 
Mail aayi thi "Testimonial likho" karke mujhe Raam ki
Ab mumma maanti hai unhe to ye likhna to padega 
Tum naraaz na hona warna mera BP aur badhega 


Krishna Ji Replied :- 

Teri setting ke chakkar me baalak 1-2 mujhe pasand aayi hai 
Barso se mere soone mann pe raunak phir chhayi hai 
Tu apni setting ki tension khud le ab, main to chala 
Abhi to meri bhi ho sakti hai, phir teri kyu sochu bhala 

Jaane se pehle ek raaz bata ke jaata hu 
Jitna tujhe bata raha hu, itna kisi ko nahi batata hu 
Zindagi me asli mohabbat kismat waalo ko bat-ti hai 
Ladki paisa gaadi se nahi, jigar waalo se pat-ti hai 

Funda bahut simple hai dost, ladki ko khush karne ka hai 
Phool le ke seedha paas jaane ka, aur nahi darne ka hai 
Thodi tareeef ke saath baat batane ka dil ki bindaas
Nahi maani to palat raasta pahuch jaa doosri ke paas


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Naarad forwarded the mail to ram@diwaliwala.com !! (f**k you naarad)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ram Ji Replied:

Yaar ye to badi hi galat baat hai tumhari 
Maana Sita ko nahi lagta par kuchh izzat hai hamari
Testimonial tumne nahi likhna to na likho yaar
Aise shikayat na lagao Krishna se hamari baar baar   (and now I feel bad too)

Aaj bhi Hanuman tumhare hi kaam pe gaya hai 
Main tab bhi kaha tha ki wo thoda naya hai....... time lagega

Achha suno, I don't think it's working out with Sita 
What do you suggest, bhool jaau kya purana har pal beeta ?
Dhamkiya deti hai jab bhi main Open Marriage ki baat karta hu
Raavan phir se utha ke le jaaye ab bas yahi dua karta hu (#RaavanCustomerCare)

Aur wo Testimonial isliye maanga tha, kyuki mujhe Brahma ki job ke liye apply karna hai (Brahma ji resign kar rahe hai).


Vishnu Ji Replied :-

WTF dude, didn't I mention in the last mail that I am on bench these days ? Kindly don't Cc me in any such mail again. Waise bhi kuchh kaam nahi hai, upar se mujhe ye personal issues me ghusa ghusa ke pareshaan kar daala hai.

Click here to read the next post "Reply from Shiv Ji: Ho Na Paayega!!"

16 comments:

sunshine said...

Funny at it's best!! LOVE IT!

Anonymous said...

lovely ankit..... mazaa aa gaya.... narrated it to Mom also ... she loved it too....
would love to see such more...
Sakshi

Anirudh said...

Ha ha ha .... I would reserve my sarcasm for another time ... Loved this ....

Ankit Arora said...

@ Shivangi & Sakshi - Thanks :)
@ Chauhan -> So this means, 'Gin' actually works right ? :D

Rachit said...

Good Going :-)

Payal said...

Mast mast mast :)

Anonymous said...

haha...it could not have got funnier! :D

Avantika..

dudu said...

dekho ooo deewano tum ye kaam na karo , Ram ka naam badnaam na karo

Ankit Arora said...

@ Rachit, Payal & Avantika -> Thanks :)

Shveta Seth said...

hey ankit...its really good..
waiting for more!!!

Nikhil said...

Wit at its best!!

Anonymous said...

just best at its best !!!! wonderful !!!
- Anshul

Ankit Arora said...

@Shveta, Nikil & Anshul -- Thanks :)

Anirudh said...

Always did, always will :-P

Manali Khanna said...

Really awesome bhaiya.....enjoyed a lot reading it....:)

Harman said...

lol
:D
awesome hai bhai :P

© 2009-2010 Ankit Arora. All Rights Reserved